Tedious Life of an Urban Apache

Ghosts and other universe glitches

Ghosts and other universe glitches

Occasionally I’ll stop and watch those stupid ghost hunter shows. I don’t tivo them but I like to see the locations and watch them walk around old spooky buildings. I’ve been in some old buildings at night, alone. They are creepy. I also like to hear the history of those old buildings. Unfortunately, they tend to over dramatize the whole thing. Still, it’s TV, it has to be a little over the top in today’s world.

The biggest problem is that they never actually see anything. With all those camera’s and all our modern tech equipment, we’ll get flashes of unexplained things. Maybe.

I really wish I could believe there is a real danger or that these guys were putting themselves on the line for my entertainment. At least football players and bull riders are risking life threatening injuries while they battle in the arenas. I’d even settle for some concrete evidence as if it were a science experiment.

If there really is a thing as ghosts (and believe me, I’ve heard some stories) I don’t hear many stories of actual contact or danger. There’s no consistency.

this would get you burned at the stake 60 years ago.

They have recording devices that they claim can pick up sound/words etc, but you can’t hear it with your naked ear.

They use heat sensing video and pick up something odd, but you can’t see it with your naked eye.

Why does it have to be night time? Do you really believe that ghosts are working on the same clock as we are? Does it seem like they have an alarm clock that tells them to get up and start scaring people? Because, if that’s happening, I prefer to blink out of existence then have to go through any of that crap. Not sure about you, but my alarm clock and I are not on speaking terms. If my alarm was a person, we would get in a fistfight every day.

“wake up!”
“no go away”
“I’ll give you a few more minutes but you have to wake up”

“no, fuck off assburger”

Every single day

What was I talking about?

oh yeah, So with all this ‘activity’ that’s happening. Unless you’re using  special listening or video equipment, you aren’t seeing a damn thing. It reminds me of the screaming squirrel gag in Night at the Museum. Loud dramatic music, charging roman tearing down the green… back out.. and… silence.

nature’s most fearsome creature

When you think about it, it’s not scary. You didn’t actually see or hear ANYTHING. My alarm clock is more threatening than ghosts and it doesn’t even have arms. I need to invent an alarm clock that you can punch in the face.

I actually believe that “ghost” is the wrong word for the things we can’t explain. I think ghost doesn’t allow for us to explore what else we simply don’t understand yet. I like to give it a more sci-fi name and think of it as holes in time-space.

Inter-dimensional beings if you will. Rips in the matrix.

Maybe it’s just me trying to keep myself from being scared but I prefer if we could figure out what the hell these things were and not just go with ‘dead people with an ax to grind’. There has to be more than that. I refuse to believe that if there was an actual afterlife, that I would hang around a piece of dirt in the ground or in a 125 year old building, or even a prison. That has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. A ghost, in a prison. Think about it.

That’s even dumber than a punchable alarm clock.

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