4 | 4 | 2012 3 | 14 | 2012 But it made me wonder. Can I grow an allergy to things that could kill me? Can I become allergic to peanut butter all of sudden? I'm watching Navajo Cops the other night. I was hoping it would have more interesting indian fighting arrested, etc stories. I love you as goodbye annoys me. Who wants to join me to go all Jehovah's Witness with my tribal myths and legends? We'll go door to door and tell people they have to put on a foot race in order to determine the weather for next year.
3 | 13 | 2012 Our normal menu consisted of taco helper, spam and taters, or macaroni and milk. I always thought everyone pretty much ate the same things. Hell, even my friends would eat similar things. Like there's a big reservation cookbook that evenyone was handed out. It's not until I got off the rez that I learned those menu choices weren't common. I was always under the impression that my mom made the best... everything. There are a few things that I've realized that maybe it's not the 'best' (taste is all relative) but I can no longer eat it any other way than the way my mother does. Best example I have, potato salad. My mom makes some delicious goddamn potato salad. Holy balls it's fantastic. Then I try to eat other people's version and there's celery and pickles and radishes and toenails, and, whatever else they seem to scrape off the kitchen counter. It's terrible I say. They've destroyed a good dish with all that mess. But then, who am I to say that it's not the correct way? Well, me I guess. I've come across many more multiples of food that I never thought I would like, but have realized their proper use in the world. Barbecue was never big where I was. Nobody had a smoker or tenderizer or all that other stuff that Kansas city uses to make it's meat. Which is odd considering all the ranchers out where with access to good fresh beef. Whenever I attempted some bbq in NM it was always just.. meh. Same thing for Arizona, California, Colorado... just.. meh. Then I came to KC and had a few pieces here and there and realized...THIS IS BBQ. That's what good meat tastes like. This is what a spicy rub tastes like. Hot and spicy bbq sauce? I guess it's a little tangy and not really hot, but still pretty delicious. Occasionally, I'll eat an $8 burger and wonder if it's just a burger... or am I missing something and this is supposed to be a 'great' burger. It could be my plebian reservation taste buds that can't fully appreciate the magnificence of meat in front of me. It could just be that I was tricked into paying too much for a hamburger.
2 | 15 | 2012 I don't mean something like "I did the dishes, I'm the most awesome man/boyfriend husband ever!". I mean, when you go out of your way to do that one little thing you wouldn't EVER do for anyone else. You sometimes need to remind yourself, that you love this person. If they don't see it, it's because you're so damn good to them that they expect this treatment. It doesn't mean what you actually did was great, it was only meaningful to you, so keep it to yourself. Trust me, you don't want to start comparing the stuff you do to the amount of things she does for you that you don't know about. (my wife knows what I'm talking about) This whole valentine's thing always put me off because of pictures like this.
Yup, a $3.85 card is why these guys are scrambling around this case. Ladies, if you're love costs less than $5 a year, you've got to think about re-investing. You're getting a terrible return. Personally, if I were to celebrate that travesty of red and pink, I couldn't afford it. My wife is worth more than a card that comes off a shelf. She deserves more than the little things I try to pick up for her when I'm out thinking of her. Do you know what's really sad? If I were to come across a $5,000 necklace, earring, magical golden egg laying bird...and think, she would LOVE that, I'd have a hard time purchasing it, not because I can't afford it, but because it's less than .000001% of what she deserves. My practicallity gets in the way of my romanticism. It's one of my biggest flaws. She should have a bedroom with a swimming pool that overlooks the ocean. She should have her own mountain island She should have her own water play world
She should have a penthouse overlooking hong kong
I haven't found one thing that exists in this world worth her love that I can put in a box and wrap with a little bow. So, what is a cheap bastard like me to do? I offer to go to the grocery store because I know she hates it. What she really deserves, (and guys listen to me), is all she see's YOU TO BE. Whether it be a lover, father, provider, friend, crying shoulder, listener, drinking buddy or driver for the bank heist. That's it. She fell in love with who you are and she may be the ONLY person who can see it all. You owe her the effort to be what you cannot see yourself and all that she can see in you. If she doesn't know how much she means to me, then it's on me to try harder. Every day after a long day at work, I come home, everyone is smiling, and I see things like this.
and the whole world can keep rolling, because she makes things that perfect. Can snapmouse ask for more out of this life and worry about petty things? Nah man... I'm good.... I'm good. I love Ketchup, I love Salsa. I don't like Tomatoes. I only like Tomatoes with salt and spices. In fact, I think sometimes when I have a craving for one of these 2 things; it's not the FOOD that I want. I don't want chips, I want salsa, chips are just the mechanism that delivers salsa to my talk-hole. Fries are merely a transport ship for ketchup to my battle-mouth. Just thought I'd share something stupid with you. Speaking of something stupid: this is cool.
1 | 25 | 2012 Oddly one of reasons I started this site, is because it gave me the opportunity to vent about my smallest and biggest issues. However, with the fabulous wife I have, she seems to have all those things taken care of. Most of my issues are how my kids are being taught/treated/fed, etc. I'm a big fan of 'signs' and happy coincidences. I wish I was psychic as my wife likes to accuse me of. Even though it would be awesome to have that power, I've only got the ability to eat salsa like it's being rationed out by the gov't. My Son started playing basketball recently, and unlike football, we didn't choose his number. The coach ordered T-shirts and basically just handed them out before the first game started. Now, he's right in the middle as far as size, not the tallest, not the shortest. So he went to the coach while we all found someplace to sit. He comes back wearing #12.
Later, I have the thought... what number did I wear in elementary school? I don't remember picking any number as I transferred halfway into the school year. So I go to search it.
While I was searching for that old picture of myself, I stumbled across a picture of my oldest sister.
Amazing sign from the basketball gods (one of the only few I believe in)? Or just another funny thing that happened on the way to courts? Either way, I had to share it. I still refuse to be one of THOSE people, "today I ate at Harold's drive in for a burger and it was tasty but.. blah, blah.. stfu". So I've had to reserve my rants for things better deserving. Again, because my hot wife pretty much takes care of me in this life, everything else seems, well.... petty. I positive she's cast some wierd scottish spell on me. She's Part Scot you know, and they can be pretty sneaky.
These new thoughts are just my own and I thought I'd bring them up because it's the holiday season. Like This; When you want to buy something from a 'real native' does it matter if it's good? I don't mean to say that you'll buy random crap because of who's hands touched it, I mean; If product A and product B are equal in quality, and they're both made in that 'native design' that you want, do you purchase product A because it's made by a native? And would that not count as racist as you're purchasing based on race and maybe even skin color? (you can buy those in a store nowadays) What if Product B (made by a non-native) is better quality but more expensive? Would you feel a tinge of guilt for giving more money to someone else who simply copied the design? And maybe even improved it? It has happened before. And who actually owns the design? It's widely accepted as a native/southwestern thing, but you can't patent a 'style' can you? Do we, as indians, lay copyright claim to shit we didn't actually INVENT? 12 | 22 | 2011 You know that joke about your parents changing your diapers when you're little, then you have to do the same for them when they get old? I'm not there yet as I'm still perfectly capable changing my diapers by myself, thank you very much. The holiday season hopped on me like a bear overdosed on viagra. Oddly, that used to be on my favorite threats against people I didn't like. It got me thinking of what the hell am I going to do for my parents for xmas? They have more money than me, so I can't really BUY them anything. I live too far away to offer free manual labor. Which leads me back to possibly creating them something. When I was little I had NO money, so I would take my little hands and make a little present. Normally I was too self-involved to spend a lot of time on it, but when there was a grade involved, I'd make them an ashtray.. or a goblet. Not that they smoked, nor were they pimps in need of a 'pimp cup',
Dad? I wish you'd stop dressing up to show off that cup. but as with all parents, it was the thought that counted. So what can I make for them now? Well, I know a little photoshop and I take a lot of pictures with my fancy camera. I could make them a video, but then they'd only watch when the desire struck them, so I can make them something meaningful like images of me when I was little. Because, come on, I was adorable. Well, not good looking or anything, but sort of that weird cute that gizmo from the gremlins had. Weird looking, but unique enough that you didn't puke when you looked at me. I wonder if that's where they got my name? Back to the subject at hand. I'm buying them food and letting them babysit their grand kids. Yay?
Yup, that's the millenium falcon and a star wars lunchbox. My wife was great... as usual. She created a perfect day by making me some food and let me play the games she bought all day. I already told her that she didn't have to spend any money, and i meant it. My life is already in a perfect phase. I have the normal firstworldproblems, like; My kids don't listen to me, the wireless isn't working very well, etc. But those are all minor inconveniences to the luck I have happened upon in my existence. Sometimes I forget to enjoy it everyday. Mostly, I take it all in a revel in the perfection. Aren't I lucky? Henry David Thoreau once said "Give me the poverty that enjoys true wealth." Also, do you think now that I'm an adult that I can jump off the roof in my superman underwear and a towel wrapped around my neck? Granted, my roof is a little taller now but I've gotten bigger, so it should all work out.. right? I love these damn pictures.
9 | 16 | 2011 Granted, my kids are pretty spoiled. As every generation of parents tries to get their kids the things they didn't have and really wanted. We have to be careful as adults that we don't fall too far down that hole. Kids are still kids, just like we were. They may come to expect such things and they lose their value. I'm positive, if I was given all the toys I wanted as a kid, I wouldn't have treasured them as much as I did. If I didn't have to scrap and save for the most meager of gifts, that GI joe would've just been a 'toy' and held no value to my 8 year old eyes. Though I do think it caused a strange obsession with action figures to this very day as I still look at them in the toy aisles every chance I get. But I'll let the doctors consider that issue on a seperate day. The reason I'm here today? I remember opening this, on christmas morning.
yes, that's the googlin' millenium falcon. I didn't come from a rich family, nor did I come from a poor family. But we were a family of 4 (When I got this, 5 to come later) so it's not like we had a lot of expendable income. These things weren't cheap but as a kid, it was on my list anyway. I wasn't expecting to get it because I couldn't get 1.49 out of my parents for a new star wars guy when I begged and pleaded. This absolutely surprised me. And I will remember it. I don't know how they afforded it. i just wanted to make sure my parents knew that it was that memorable and after all these years, I appreciate all they did for us kids. They truly are great parents and I hope to be the child they deserve. Thanks mom and dad. Now watch this video and shut up
8 | 12 | 2011 Co-ed Softball is starting up as well and as much as I'm looking forward to playing, it looks like it's going to be difficult. My daughter is cheering on saturdays and my son is playing football. I thought, it would work out perfectly. Saturday games for them, Friday night softball for me. Nope. Friday night football games for my son, saturday cheering for my daughter. It's got me screwed. So no co-ed softball for me this year. The baseball gods made it up for me though. A friend called and needed a fill in for his co-ed game. I've been doing some pictures and looking for some inspiration lately. So I'll be posting some new pictures up soon. Here's a song you will probably hate me for putting up. But I like it.
Also, if you haven't heard AwolNation's Sail, you should give it a listen. 7 | 13 | 2011 It seems I love it enough to give up a piece of my own soul. There's a preacher/pastor guy talking to us and is trying to be interactive and doing a decent enough job of making people stand up, etc while all the teams are gathered out in the grass. I'm sitting there playing with my phone and paying some attention to what he has to say, when all of a sudden he asked, 'does everyone want to go to heaven?'. Since I don't really believe in heaven or hell, I do as I always do and stay silent. However, he then asks everyone to STAND UP that wants to go heaven. he says something to the effect of, 'your choice is heaven or hell, and all you have to do to get in, is stand up. So Everyone who wants to get into heaven, stand up now!''. I debate this as I don't really want to stand up. I consider faking a leg injury. I should have taken off my cleats so I couldn't stand in the grass. Still, these are the guys I play ball with weekly. They're cool cats and other than one question (5+ years ago about my faith), they have always left me alone and been supportive in everything else. As much as my principle's tell me to stay seated, I stand up so I can keep playing ball with my friends and it doesn't lead to another discussion about religion. So yes, i sold myself out. To play ball. Figured it may also keep my friends from getting bothered. 6 | 24 | 2011
5 | 27 | 2011
Just thought you should be warned, and probably try not to turn into a dog if you live at the top of the AT&T building.
Here's some music to go along with your impending doom.
5 | 25 | 2011 I've already stated some rules about what will happen when I go 'shuffle off' and amongst them (besides no coffin) is that my funeral will be fun and glorious. When my wife reads about me (I'm sure she'll outlive me for many, many reasons) I'll make sure she uses a big word like magnanimous. Then tell her to wait 20 seconds while people take out their phones to look up how to spell it and the definition. Once everyone starts getting the download she'll interrupt them to let them know it means "to be generous and forgiving of insult or injury, to be free from petty resentfulness." Then she can make a joke about having a test after the service. ha ha.. then hand out papers with test questions about my life as they leave. I'll be sure to put an address to send them to be graded. Postage paid back to the cemetary of course. Hmm.. cemetary? The only place my lifeless corpse should be placed is in tornado alley. Then if it gets picked up by a tornado I can be found and listed amongst the 'dead'... again. That'll screw up someone's census numbers. I wonder what grade my friends would score on a test about the great Snapmouse? I'd expect them to get all A's, but then, I'm not too sure. They probably suffer from test anxiety. That might not be the best thing to dump on someone as their crying over a loved one. My parents might do good though. My dad will get a C. Not because he doesn't know the answers, but because he always gets C's. No matter how well or poorly he knows the subject. Apparently he pissed off a Genie or Gypsy and now cursed to swim in the C's. (I'm funny, get it?). My wife will probably get an A+ but really, she has the teacher's manual with the answers on the back. So she'll either know the answer because she's been told several times, or she'll just cheat and look on the answer sheet. Also, she's the teacher's pet. 4 | 21 | 2011 I've always believed that life just happens. You can't plan it all out, you can only expect stuff to change and be prepared for it all times. When my friends and I would hang out for a big birthday, we would ask them for their sage advice on that day of their birth. I never really had one, but here's on for you now. "if you don't make your life interesting, life will do it for you." 2 weeks ago, Monday morning, I go out to start the car. It doesn't start, it clicks. Not a big deal, been having a few issues lately. So I go to pop the hood. I hit the latch, but before I get out, I try to key one more time. I hear a high speed whirring sound and POP! Something goes flying out from under the hood, then.. flames. BIG ROARING flames are coming out of the engine. I panic and run around like a little girl for a second before remembering that the kids were playing with the water hose the day before. So I turn on the hose and start spraying the engine vigorously. I need to contact someone inside to tell them call the Fire department in case this thing gets out of hand. So I take my phone out of my pocket and start trying to dial. I've never had a car fire before but if it's anything like the movies I'll have to run and jump away at the last second from a huge explosion. In reality, I parked really close to the house the night before so we can play basketball. Now my main concern it keeping the flames from licking the house. Luckily, my brilliant(sleeping) wife is awakened by the explosion, runs around the house looking for it (probably not like the little girl I looked like). Comes out and sees me on the phone trying to call her for help. She runs back in and grabs the fire extinguisher (My first thought is, we have a fire extinguisher?) and hands it to me. I trade her the hose and am able to put the fire out in a matter of seconds. It's the first time in my life I've been able to pull the pin on an extinguisher. I have to admit, I liked it. I hope to never have to do it again. Unless of course I'm saving someone's life and they're going to thank me with a large cash settlement. Anyone want to see a burned car engine after spraying it with the fire extinguisher?
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